Joyeux Ciel
by Wammy's House Dropout
Summary: All Elizabeth wants to do is give Ciel a Christmas he'll treasure forever. Some things are easier said than done. /CielxLizzie-CielxSebastian/
1. Arbre de Noel

**I wanted to make a Christmas-themed Kuro fanfic. But I also wanted to post the first part on Ciel's birthday. The other chapters will be longer, I promise!**

 **I hereby disclaim any ownership of Black Butler and its characters. There, I said it ;~;**

 **And before anyone notices: I am aware that, gram** **matically speaking, my title should read "Ciel Joyeux." But I needed to make a play-on the phrase "Joyeux Noel." Sorry for any grammar-related aneurysms ^-^.**

 **Please review :D**

* * *

All Ciel wanted to do today was to look over the sales of his Funtom Holiday lineup (which was doing even better than he expected) and eat whatever sweet thing Sebastian had prepared for tea. Then maybe go over financial reports in front of a fire and retire to bed early if he could- the gray, snowy weather was perfect for that sort of thing.

But things never went as he planned, did they?

" _CIEL!"_

"I'm dreadfully sorry, young master. I would have warned you, but she came unannounced-"

Ciel finds his papers scattered and flung from his desk as a mass of pink lace and blond hair throws itself at him, nearly sending him and his chair falling to the floor.

"E-Elizabeth!" He splutters, trying pitifully to shove her off his lap and spitting out the bit of her ermine cape that found its way into his mouth. "What are you doing here?!"

"I wanted to keep you company over Christmas!" Lizzie chirps brightly. "Mother said I could come over here, and you're always alone this time of year! We can spend your birthday together too! It'll be fun!"

"I don't have time for that," Ciel grumbles, desperately trying to maintain some semblance of composure. "I'm very busy."

"Don't have time for Christmas?"

Lizzie frowns, tears welling up in her big blue eyes, and Ciel instantly feels the guilt that only that look of hers can stir up inside him.

"I just want you to be happy…"

"Lizzie…"

"You haven't come around for Christmas in years." Lizzie pouts, wiping at her tears with one of her pink mittens. "And you don't even have any Christmas decorations up- it's so boring in here! Why don't you at least put up a Christmas tree?"

She turns toward Sebastian, who has been standing by silently this entire time and trying his best not to laugh at his master's predicament.

"Sebastian! Couldn't you find us a Christmas tree? A really big one that we can cover in tinsel and lights!"

Sebastian quirks an eyebrow and looks to Ciel, waiting for his answer.

Ciel sighs in resignation. There was no stopping Lizzie when she really wanted something. Particularly if it involved any sort of celebration.

"...Oh, alright." He glances over at his butler. "Sebastian, go find us a tree."

"Yes!" Elizabeth squeals in delight. "The biggest tree you can find, Sebastian!"

The look on his butler's face is rather hard to describe. Irritated? Something up that alley, anyway. But he quickly turns that look into a polite smile, and bows in his usual manner.

"Of course, my lord." He says, though notably more terse than his usual manner. He exits the room quickly, and the door clicks shut behind him. Elizabeth squeals in delight and hugs Ciel tight once more.

"Oh, Ciel! I'm gonna make this the best Christmas you ever had!" Lizzie declares, squeezing so tightly he almost couldn't breathe. "We'll have to decorate for your birthday too! I'm gonna find you the best birthday present, and we can have Sebastian make us the tastiest birthday cake in the whole wide world!"

Ciel doesn't return the hug, but he lets her do as she wants. He simply doesn't have the heart to deny Lizzie this.

He already breaks her poor heart so much. He can't say no to this request. He'll let her do as she likes for now, because that's all he can do for her anymore.

* * *

"The biggest tree I can find, eh?"

Sebastian doesn't know whether he wants to yell in frustration or to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Christmas. What a farce.

Humans are such foolish and capricious creatures. Leave it to them to make such a pointless celebration. As if Christ gave a damn about these people who were so devoted to him. And how very much like Ciel to be at the mercy of the whims of his silly fiancée.

Nevertheless, he heads into town to fetch the giant evergreen the stupid girl wanted so badly.

Why did Ciel care so much for her, anyway? It didn't make much sense; his young Master had never shown himself to be weak or sentimental like that. That was something for ordinary humans. Boring, weak, vile creatures.

His young master is none of these things. So what about that stupid girl made Ciel so weak? No other human ever prompted such emotions within him. Nobody else brought that same light of despicable humanity into his face.

Nobody but her.

That bothers Sebastian more than it should.

* * *

Sebastian sets the tree square in the middle of the parlor, where it left barely enough space for the star on the top. Elizabeth brought boxes upon boxes of decorations she wanted to lay out, and she herself was hard at work stringing up holly in the foyer.

"Well, if it's a Christmas celebration she wants," he mutters to himself, adjusting his gloves and rolling up his sleeves, "I'll give her one Hell of a Christmas."

* * *

In the course of one afternoon, the rather gloomy Phantomhive manor had been transformed into a glittering galleria of red and green and gold. Even the statue on the garden fountain donned a Santa Claus hat.

The entire scene sickens Sebastian to his core.

"Oh, it's absolutely beautiful, Sebastian!" Elizabeth squeals, planting a Santa hat on his head as well. "Thank you so much!"

Sebastian forces a smile and gives the slightest bow.

"You flatter me, Lady Elizabeth. But if I couldn't do this much then what kind of butler would I be?"

Ciel surveys the decorations with a mingled look of disgust and boredom. Lizzie seems oblivious to this, and squeezes him with unmitigated glee.

"Oh, Ciel! Isn't it wonderful? We'll finally have a proper Christmas together!"

Ciel sighs heavily, but he won't be the one to ruin her happiness. Besides, she look so content, smiling blissfully, the cold air painting roses in her cheeks. He can't help but reach out to brush away the snowflakes that have settled in her blond ringlets. Lizzie giggles and grasps his hand in both of hers.

"Oh, Ciel, it's going to be amazing…"

Ciel forces himself to smile for her sake.

"Hey, Ciel," Lizzie chirps. "I forgot to ask- what kind of cake do you want for your birthday party?"

"P-party? Lizzie, I-"

"I was thinking maybe Sebastian could make the chocolate gateau you love so much- would that be alright?"

Ciel huffs.

"Yes, Lizzie. That's fine."

"Wonderful!"

Sebastian holds back the urge to laugh. Ciel is red in the face and obviously flustered, and Elizabeth is completely oblivious to the turmoil she is causing his young master.

This certainly would be one hell of a Christmas, indeed.


	2. Bon Anniversaire

**Many apologies for by absence. I've had a rough couple weeks.**

 **This chapter is more or less a series of moments on Ciel's birthday. Nothing special :D**

 **Reviews are nice :D**

* * *

About two days into her unannounced arrival, Elizabeth is woken in the dead of night by a high-pitched scream that echoed through the halls of the mansion.

She leaps out of bed and sprints out into the hallway in nothing but her nightgown, following the direction of the heartrending cry.

 _Ciel's room. It's coming from Ciel's room…!_

She reaches for the handle, but her wrist is seized and pulled away.

"S-Sebastian!" Elizabeth squeaks. "Let me go!"

"I do apologize, Lady Elizabeth," Sebastian says, forcing his voice to remain calm. "But I must ask you to leave the young Master to me for now."

Ciel unleashes another bone-chilling scream.

"But-what's going on?!" Elizabeth demands. "Is someone hurting him?!"

Sebastian lets out a joyless little laugh.

"Only his mind, Lady Elizabeth."

He unlocks the door and disappears inside, leaving Elizabeth in the hallway by herself. There's another scream, and Sebastian murmuring something she can't make out through the door. Then a yelp, and glass shattering.

Lizzie feels nauseous. This isn't right at all.

Poor Ciel…

The racket seems to have woken the servants as well. Finnie, Mey-Rin, Bard and Tanaka wander down the hall, all in their pajamas, and all looking worried.

"Christ, another one o' these nightmares…" Bard mutters, shaking his head and running a hand through his unkempt blond hair.

"I wish there was somethin' we could do for 'im," Finnie chimes in mournfully.

"Oh- Lady Elizabeth?! What are you doing awake?!"

Mey-Rin runs up to her and nearly trips on the carpet.

"Huh?" Elizabeth shakes herself out of her trance. "I heard him too…"

Tears start to pour down her cheeks, and she begins to cry.

"I want to help...I want to make it better! But it always feels like I'm stuck on the other side of the door, and he shuts me out so I can't see it…I feel so useless…"

Tanaka puts a hand on her shoulder and offers her a reassuring smile.

"Please return to bed, Lady Elizabeth." He says gently. "I assure you the young master is in good hands with Sebastian."

"That's right!" Finny tries to assure her. "Sebastian always knows how to calm the young master! He never fails!"

Elizabeth blinks back tears and nods in understanding. Mey-Rin escorts her back to her own room and offers her a few final words of reassurance before shutting the door and leaving Elizabeth alone.

She isn't comforted at all. She's never heard Ciel scream like that. Never heard him sound so frightened.

She wanted so badly to go into that room. To take Ciel into her arms and comfort him. To reassure him that everything was going to be alright; it was only a nightmare that had frightened him. She wants to at least do that for him. But she hadn't been allowed even that much.

Lizzie can't get back to sleep that night. She can't stop thinking about her poor fiance.

* * *

Sebastian finds a morbid amusement in holding Ciel's shaking little body like this. Late at night, when his brain decides to torment him, when his facade crumbles and he can't help but seek comfort.

It was so... _human_ of Ciel. So weak.

But there was something so satisfying about it; after all, the only way the boy could calm himself was to have Sebastian hold him. They had tried other ways of soothing him, but all to no avail. When Ciel cried out for mercy in the middle of the night, his only solace was in the arms of his demon servant.

He has finally stopped crying now. His knuckles are white against Sebastian's shirt, his eyes shut tight to keep the world away. There's a quiet desperation about the way the child clung to him- like without this lifeline he would drown.

Sebastian keeps his arms wrapped around his young master, humming softly and rocking back and forth the tiniest degree.

With tears staining his round cheeks, with wide, petrified eyes and skin ghostly white from fear, Ciel looked very much like one of the countless sorry souls suffering in Hell right at this very moment.

It was fitting- his little master _was_ constantly suffering, after all. Despite the luxury with which he surrounded himself, Ciel truly did exist in Hell on earth. A Hell of his own making.

How dreadful.

Sebastian hides his smirk in the boy's hair. That hair which already looked gray from all he had endured. That hair which shone like starlight and was silken to the touch. Aside from the young master's eyes, Ciel's hair might be his favorite part of the boy.

"Shall I bring you some warm milk with honey, young master?" He murmurs against the shell of the boy's ear. Ciel shivers, that low voice raising goosebumps on his skin.

"...No," Ciel mutters, his voice still unsteady. "Just stay with me…"

Ciel shudders again when a husky laugh reverberates through Sebastian's chest, hollow and colder than ice.

"So shameless, young master," Sebastian teases. "What if Lady Elizabeth came in and saw you in this state? It would break her heart."

Ciel growls like an ill-tempered little dog, but he doesn't offer a retort. Sebastian strokes his skinny back to soothe away the last of his tremors.

It was funny, Sebastian thought, that these were the most intimate moments he shared with his master.

He bathed and dressed the boy each day, and got more than his fill of Ciel's naked body; so much so that it was commonplace and almost arbitrary. In these moments, however, the boy was laid truly bare. Far more naked and vulnerable than he even was in the bath.

These were the moments Sebastian relished. This was the Ciel Phantomhive that Elizabeth would never get to know.

Because Ciel himself is not so weak as to show it to the world. His haughty mask was impeccable in the light of day. His poise is unbroken in all but these nights where he falls apart behind closed doors.

Even if he survives long enough to get married, Elizabeth would never see this shameful face of Ciel's. Even if she heard him scream (as she had tonight), she would never get to see it. She couldn't even begin to comprehend the depths of her beloved's despair.

This part of Ciel Phantomhive is his and his alone.

This part of Ciel Phantomhive belongs to Sebastian.

* * *

"Church? But why?"

Ciel thought he might have misheard Elizabeth. Surely she hadn't just suggested he spend his birthday with her doing something as banal as _that._

The earnest expression on Lizzie's face suggests otherwise.

"Don't you go anymore?" She asks innocently. Ciel goes red in the face and looks away from her. Lizzie frowns.

"Ciel…"

"We'll go if that's what you want." He says tersely, in order to pacify her.

Sebastian casts Ciel a bemused glance. Of course he would indulge her. He always did.

And so he dressed Ciel in his best clothes, and took them in a carriage through the snow-filled streets and down to the church. Anglican, of course; Heaven forbid Ciel attended anything other than Her Majesty's church.

Elizabeth chattered cheerfully the whole way, although Ciel seemed as though he didn't hear any of it.

The building is already filling up with people, the mournful bells ringing to summon them like moths around a flame.

Ciel exits the carriage first, then offers his hand to Elizabeth. He holds onto it to assuage his nerves as they approach the church together.

"Hey- Sebastian, aren't you coming?"

Sebastian is still standing beside the carriage, smiling politely at the two of them.

"Forgive me, my lady." He says, offering a bow. "But there is no place for me in there."

Elizabeth furrows her brow, and is about to protest, but Ciel interrupts her.

"We're going to be late." He says, shooting Sebastian a knowing look. "Come on."

They get seats near the front of the congregation, and quite a bit of chatter starts up around them. Ciel Phantomhive has not been seen at any sort of church since his sudden return from the dead- this was an unprecedented new piece of gossip.

Ciel keeps his composure, staring straight ahead while the priest started speaking. He hears the words, but none of them quite register in his brain. Things like Christ's love and God's mercy. The things he no longer believed in.

"The mercy of the Lord is sufficient for all of us. No sin is so grievous that the blood of Christ cannot wash it away. The Lord only asks that you reach out and take his love-"

Ciel covers his mouth to stifle a laugh.

It's all such trite nonsense.

This man doesn't have any idea how wrong he is.

* * *

"Happy birthday, young master!"

Ciel enters the dining room and is confronted with the elaborate dinner and enormous chocolate cake Sebastian had been laboring over since early this morning. Elizabeth has changed into a lacey red dress and greets him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Isn't it lovely, Ciel?" She asks, looking at him hopefully.

Ciel forces a simulacrum of a smile onto his face.

"Yes, Lizzie." He says with faux sweetness. "Thank you."

Elizabeth doesn't pick up on the fakeness in his voice. She hugs him tight and talks through dinner like everything is well in the world. The cake Sebastian made is wonderful, of course, and the Christmas decorations provide a pleasant atmosphere. But it all feels so hollow.

He'll keep putting on the brave face for Lizzie, however. He'll protect her from all the ugly thoughts in his head. She couldn't handle them, and she couldn't bear this pain he carries around.

She wants to help him, and he knows that. But she just doesn't know what she's getting herself into.

He's startled out of his thoughts by a crash and a boisterous and angry voice.

"Ciel!"

"Bloody hell…" Bard mutters.

Prince Soma bursts into the dining room, golden brown eyes filled with tears.

"You did not tell me it was your birthday!" He pouts, capturing Ciel in an involuntary hug.

"H-how did you-"

Soma only squeezes him tighter and bawls louder still.

"I want to be with my best friend on his birthday! You should not hide things like this from me, Ciel!"

Ciel is absolutely at a loss for words. Sebastian is struggling to contain his laughter, and Elizabeth looks on in flustered dismay. She had met Soma before, but she had never seen him _quite_ this exuberant.

The older boy pulls away, mood turning on a dime and a broad grin crossing his tear-streaked face.

"I was not able to find you a proper gift in time for your birthday," he says, "But I think I have found a solution."

"And what might that be?" Ciel asks hesitantly, brushing off his clothes and scowling at the older boy.

Soma smacks his hand with his fist, beaming.

"I will stay with you through your Christmas, and I will find you a gift that is doubly amazing and give it to you then!" He declares.

"...what."

"Agni! Get my belongings and bring them in immediately!"

"Jo Ajna!"

Ciel doesn't have the mental fortitude to protest this newest invasion into his private space. He can only splutter feebly as Soma makes himself at home. He and Elizabeth start up some pleasant small talk as Sebastian serves him some of the leftover cake and tea and the other servants set to work cleaning up the dinner mess.

Ciel feels as though he might faint.

What a birthday this turned out to be.


End file.
